Posts Tagged ‘ht-mars youth survey’

Image Courtesy: Indiblogger

Image Courtesy: Indiblogger

“Get me a handkerchief from her bosom – a garter of my love”
– Faust

Published on August 2014, according to the HT-MaRS Youth Survey, an unprecedented 61% of the Indian youth who were surveyed believe that premarital sex is no longer a taboo. Good stuff for a decent start of the post, as facts, figures, statistics plays a lodestone in most of the debate – But, the HT-MaRs survey also points out that 63% of the youth prefers their partners to be virgins when it comes to marriage – Hence statistics might be stratified collective lies once we do not take the entirety into consideration. Loved the way HT underscores this contradicted dichotomy whilst they published their survey :

“Call it double standards, the cost of straddling a la-la land between tradition or modernity or just plain old hypocrisy, the fact is that the youth of urban India hardly practice what they preach.”

But me, as the title already “mirrored”, do believe that premarital sex as a Notion is agreeable and I accord to it as an Act. Let me take to all the “corners” of this “round” idea – Come on, Hold my hand mate and walk with me!

This corner, it’s called the Prof. Sigmund Freud’s scope– Reckon him, Ye Olde Psychoanalysis Crawle ? Oops, was it too far fetched, well it is not. Prof. Freud’s “Three Contributions to the Theory of Sex” is still as relevant to psychoanalysis as Shakespeare is to modern plays and cinema – He states right at the start of the book :

““The fact of sexual need in man and animal is expressed in biology by the assumption of a “sexual impulse.” This impulse is made analogous to the impulse of taking nourishment, and to hunger. The sexual expression corresponding to hunger not being found colloquially, science uses the expression “libido.”

So sexual impulse is not an out-of-the-world theory but is very much a part of our flesh-and-blood; not at all a secret which need to thrive in the siberian corner of the hustled up human society but it should culture in the living psyche of the individual and the societal life. That being defined, what is premarital sex, it’s the consensual sexual activities performed by unmarried individuals, or as this definition had evolved with time, premarital sex can now be defined as the consensual sex before marriage between a man and a woman – Now, by this definition, the idea is not to undermine, critic or to twitch eyebrow in any way the sanctity or the legality of gay, lesbian or other forms of consensual premarital sex but owing to the limited scope of this article and for the brevity sake of it, I’m just referring to consensual sex between man and woman before marriage – No pun intended. Now, lets pick the points from here to draw the line, ‘consensual’ ‘adult’ sex to satiate the urge of a ‘sexual impulse’ (which is as native to the human body as the urge to eat), what bars them to indulge – Nothing, lets face the simplicity of it, nothing bars them, it’s clean harmless most natural harmonic means to an end. This is of course with the caveat that safe sex and contraceptive practises are being followed. Well, the line we draw here is the fact that one’s sexuality is his/her own and all the decisions made regarding it should be made by the individual and not governed by societal and religious norms.

Nice mate, you still holding my hand – have come a long way from the first corner, and we aren’t far from the end. Lets talk about the scriptures, shall we? Fancy few biblical references?

Hebrews 13:4 : Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Galatians 5:19-21 : The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft;… I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Mark 10:6-9 : But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

Now, as we observe most of the references talk about consensual adult sex as an event post marriage and if not explicitly, but there are not much of a direct references or implications to an approval to premarital sex. Does that deter us? The way I see things is a tad little different. The scriptures are open to interpretations, if legal ‘marriage’ in the current setup of the society refers to the legal piece of paper which proclaims ‘man and wife’, I would argue that the scriptures were coded in days when there was cohabitant setup , conjugality but not much of a legal ‘piece’ of marriage – Not completely agreeing to the scriptures letter-by-letter neither refuting it completely ( because for both support and disapproval, one needs to posses the faculty of understanding the text completely, which alas, I’m inept), hence just by my limited logically understanding I believe that the marriage here refers to the marriage of the two bodies, the coitus, which indeed is the union of two forms of existence, man and woman; it’s the marriage of two minds which are pointing ti the concentrated direction of union, resonating at the similar dimensions of gravity resulting ultimately in the cynosure of unison, a complete stillness, the end, the death of the division between two bodies, the one-ness. Getting things to draw a conclusive line to this corner, the union of two bodies do not require a nod of the any religion or scripture, as human and its faculties make up the religion and religion do not make or dictate human.

Here we come to the third one mate, almost there. Look straight and listen up. Osho said that the world goes in vicious circles, first we create a pattern, then we force or forced to follow the pattern, next we cannot live a pattern. Similar is the situation here – Premarital sex is being pictured as a taboo by few of the societies around the world for sometime now, and this self imposed pattern is now being detrimental and causing a lot of noise now. A man or a woman should be in a liberty to decide if the partner ( in case of a marriage) is compatible sexually along with financial, psychological and social compatibility, why do we have to twitch or frown? The author of The Truth About Love points out that the feeling of intimacy is product by a chemical cocktail in the brain during sex which stays up to 24 hours or so – But anybody who had encountered an act of sexual intercourse before or after marriage would vouch that it created a sense of ‘knowing the other person better’, a sense which stay way more than 24 hours! I mean, the last reason for me or per say anybody to engage in sexual activity is for the ‘chemical cocktail’, rather it would for that wholeness of the relationship ( if already in a relationship) or to compketely explore what is intrinsically mine – My sexuality. I sometime find it silly that most of us try finding the meaning of our self right ‘outside’ of body and soul – It’s all in there. So if sex imbibe a better understanding of our own self, marriage a new equation with a different self ( individual) then why not clarify one’s own individuality before sorting out things with another being.

By the way, mate, missed mentioning, the point just had three corners!!

The following post is a part of the Indiblogger contest in association with Poonam Uppal’s newly released book –  Poonaam Uppal’s True Love – A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.